'Breaking Dawn Part 1'

Don't get us wrong, Bella and Edward's wedding is swooningly romantic, as is their Brazilian honeymoon. Except that the honeymoon sex leaves her battered and bruised and he feels so bad, he refuses to sleep with her again. And then the whole "this vampire baby is crushing me from the inside" thing happens. Lesson: If you're going to marry a vampire, have him turn you before the wedding night.