'The Wicker Man'

Neil Labute's laughably-bad remake of the chilling British horror classic showcases Nicolas Cage at his most over-the-top, which is really saying something.  The movie features the uncomfortable implication that all women are literally an evil cult, as Cage karate-kicks teenage girls, dressed like a bear.  Not to mention, the bees, oh god the bees.  If you were to add 3D to this mess of "what were they thinking?!" filmmaking, you would have a movie so ridiculous, it might actually tear apart the fabric of the cosmos. 

- Eric Larnick