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What Are The Cheesiest Movies Ever Made?

By Jessica Barnes (Subscribe to Jessica Barnes's posts), Posted Aug 22nd 2010 9:03PM
Filed under: Drama, Horror, Mystery & Suspense, Fandom, Lists, Cinematical


Just before we begin I want to make very clear that at no point will I be making any jokes about movies that are 'no Gouda' or any other cheese related puns (if I can help it.) -- and now that I got that off my chest I can get on with the business at hand. In honor of Piranha's glorious return to theaters, Alexandre Aja's remake of Joe Dante's 1978 comedy-horror about a swarm of killer piranha has inspired the folks over at Wired to compile the 24 Cheesiest Sci-fi films of all time. It's a comprehensive list that showcases the best of the worst in sci-fi -- even if I disagree with their inclusion of Cloverfield among chessy classics like The Creeping Terror and Troll 2 (you can read the entire list here). But one of the advantages of my job is that I don't have to rant and rave about someone else's list, I can just make my own.

So what makes a move go from downright un-watchable to the elevated status of 'cheese'? Well, it's a personal choice, but for me the calling card of any cheesy classic is the feeling that everyone involved really seems to be trying to make great cinema, but either through a lack of budget or talent, you wind up with a movie that is so laughably awful or over the top that it becomes more than bad -- it's entered the great tradition of 'Cinema Cheese'

Unless you're new to these parts, you have probably noticed that I never like to play by the rules of a movie list, so I'm not going to confine myself to the world of sci-fi, because as we all know, cheesy movies come in all shapes and sizes. So let's get started...
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Terrific Trailers: Deliver Us From Evil

By Jessica Barnes (Subscribe to Jessica Barnes's posts), Posted Aug 19th 2010 6:03PM
Filed under: Documentary, Fandom, Trailers and Clips, Trailers and Clips, Cinematical


There is a very good reason why polite manners dictate that you should never talk about religion at a dinner party, because there is no subject on earth as contentious as religion. Which is why you really have to hand it to Amy Berg for her 2006 documentary, Deliver Us From Evil, because, if there is one thing more controversial than religious debate, it's tackling the accusations directed at the Catholic church of a conspiracy to conceal the abuse of thousands of children. So even though Deliver's subject matter might not be what you would call a 'fun night at the movies', this film earned it's own entry in Terrific Trailers because thanks to the trailer, even if you want to look away, you can't.
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Scenes (Songs) We Love: "Do Your Thing" from 'Boogie Nights'

By Jessica Barnes (Subscribe to Jessica Barnes's posts), Posted Aug 13th 2010 5:15PM
Filed under: Drama, Music & Musicals, Fandom, Scenes We Love, Cinematical


Normally when I nominate a song for Scenes (Songs) We Love, it's because I want to share a scene (and a song) that is, for the most part, a happy memory. But today, I'm doing things a little differently, because as much as I may love Charles Wright & the Watts 103rd Street Rhythm Band's Do Your Thing, it's visual accompaniment is the definition of a downer. My first exposure to the soul classic was in Paul Thomas Anderson's porn masterpiece, Boogie Nights, and as I watched Little Bill (played by William H. Macy) make his way through **spoiler alert** his last New Years Eve party, I was on pins and needles. As the camera tracks Macy and that bass kicked in, I may have had the overwhelming urge to get down, but I also knew that something was up, and it was not going to end well.

Watch the scene after the jump...
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Is The Rom-Com Dead?

By Jessica Barnes (Subscribe to Jessica Barnes's posts), Posted Aug 9th 2010 12:36PM
Filed under: Comedy, Romance, Fandom, Newsstand, Movie News, Cinematical


There is no movie genre more maligned than the romantic comedy. If you don't believe me, tell someone that you just can't get enough of rom-coms the next time you are asked about your favorite movies and watch a blend of incomprehension and disgust cross the other person's face. Harsh? Maybe, but according to an Op-Ed in The New York Times by Maureen Dowd, there's a very good reason for it: romantic comedies are dead, and Hollywood killed them. In a conversation with film writer Sam Wasson, the two take a moment to mourn the shift in the romantic comedy landscape that has gone from the golden age of the '30s and '40s to He's Just Not That Into You.

But maybe the problem is that in the 'good old days' of the '30s and '40s, there wasn't really a rom-com genre ... technically. The great directors mentioned in Dowd's piece -- Preston Sturges and Ernst Lubitsch -- were two directors known for directing comedies -- screwball comedies to be exact. Their movies may have had a romantic streak a mile wide, but they were more than that. These movies were witty, smart, and you could enjoy them without being all 'hearts and flowers' about it. Modern day rom-coms bear little resemblance to their ancestors -- they aren't smart, they aren't witty, and they certainly aren't very romantic and it seemed like the moment we put the 'Rom' into the rom-com, the films were pushed into the girlie ghetto and stayed there ever since. Read
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Free Flick of The Day: 'Youngblood'

By Jessica Barnes (Subscribe to Jessica Barnes's posts), Posted Aug 8th 2010 8:03PM
Filed under: Fandom, Home Entertainment, Stars in Rewind, Features, Cinematical


One of the few 'girlie-girl' cliches you could accuse me of exhibiting is an aversion to organized sports ... except when it comes to the movies. I couldn't tell you who won last year's Superbowl, but I've seen just about every football movie from North Dallas Forty to Rudy, and the same could be said for most of the major sports: baseball, basketball, hockey, you name it. I may not follow sports in the real world, but I will always watch a sports movie, and that habit can be traced back to Youngblood, a film near and dear to me for no other reason than it filmed just a few blocks from where I grew up. So if you haven't seen it, you're in luck, because the 80's hockey classic is now available at SlashControl as one of their free movies.

The 1986 film centered on a farm boy named Dean Youngblood (Rob Lowe) who hopes to make it into the NHL, but first has to pay his dues on a rough and tumble Canadian team by the name of the Hamilton Mustangs. After getting his 'stick' handed to him by the bruisers on a rival team, Dean learns to become a bit of a brute himself and avenges his mentor (played by Patrick Swayze) by kicking the crap out of a fellow player in the championship game. If nothing else, the movie stands out as one of the few hockey flicks to champion the 'brawler' over the skilled athlete. Read
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Scenes (Songs) We Love: "Que Sera Sera" from 'Heathers'

By Jessica Barnes (Subscribe to Jessica Barnes's posts), Posted Aug 5th 2010 6:45PM
Filed under: Comedy, Fandom, Scenes We Love, Cinematical


When most people think of the song Que Sera, Sera (Whatever Will Be) they usually think about one person: Doris Day. Well, as much as it may offend musical purists out there, my mind doesn't go to the paragon of wholesome American girls everywhere. No, I think of good old Martha "Dumptruck" Dunnstock from the 1989 teen classic, Heathers, which is why today's Scenes (Songs) We Love is dedicated to that black comedy and Sly and The Family Stone's 1973 cover of Day's classic song that plays in the film's final moments.

Ask any girl (and some guys) about their favorite teen films, and I can guarantee that Heathers will land in the top five. The story of murderous revenge on a group of 'Mean Girls' has gone down in history as one of the best hellish high school movies of all time, and primed a new generation of girls to go for the bad boy (in the form of Christian Slater's 'Baby Nicholson'). Sly's take on the American standard plays over the final scene in which Veronica (Winona Ryder) has not only saved the school but taken a stand against the new and improved Heathers. So as Martha and Veronica walk off into the sunset, those opening chords kick in and it creates the perfect match of moment and music, because Sly's version of this song isn't about blindly looking on the bright side. His cover has just enough melancholy to remind you that Veronica hasn't changed the rest of the world and the school year isn't going to be easy, but at least she did the right thing.

Watch the scene after the jump ...
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Canceled 'Justice League' Movie was "Dark, Brutal and Gory"

By Jessica Barnes (Subscribe to Jessica Barnes's posts), Posted Aug 4th 2010 3:02PM
Filed under: Fandom, Scripts, Comic/Superhero/Geek, Cinematical
There is no regret like the one born from a missed opportunity. When it comes to Hollywood, that regret is the source of movie legends about brilliant scripts being tossed away like garbage or a casting choice that just didn't work out. And now, thanks to some new information, we know that the big-screen Justice League can join the ranks of 'Movies That Could Have Been ... Pretty Awesome.' During a press event for The Sorcerer's Apprentice, comedian Jay Baruchel (who had been attached to George Miller's League), dished a little on Miller's plan for that buzzed-about canceled Justice League film, saying it was going to be "f**king epic."

Fans of the League (in all its incarnations) have been teased with a big-screen treatment of the DC legends as far back as 2007. When Miller stepped aboard in 2008, the director moved full steam ahead and after enduring what Baruchel called a "...blogosphere [that] was not very kind to us," the project was shelved, and Miller was out. So what happened? According to Baruchel, it all came down to a price tag (upwards of $300 million) that would've made Justice League of America "the single most expensive movie in the history of movies." And that's with a cast full of "who's that again?" I'm sorry, but how do you spend $300 million with Artie Hammer playing Batman and D.J. Cotrona (who?) playing Superman?
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