Skip to main content

The Lowest-Grossing Wide-Release Movies of 2010

By Eric D. Snider (Subscribe to Eric D. Snider's posts), Posted Dec 29th 2010 9:30AM
Filed under: Features, Box Office, Cinematical, Best and Worst


It would be easy to slap together a list of the lowest-grossing movies of the year and then make fun of them. It wouldn't be fair, though. A lot of independent films only play on two or three screens for a couple weeks before going to DVD or Video-on-Demand. Their theatrical grosses are tiny -- often less than $50,000 -- but that doesn't mean they were failures. Those films usually didn't cost much to make, and a big box-office haul was never in the cards anyway.

It will be much more sporting, then, to look only at the wide releases, the films whose distributors put them on more than 1,000 screens and then got jack-squat in return. These tend to be the bloated studio productions, the cynical cash-grabs, the absurd star vehicles. They are ripe for mockery, especially insofar as this mockery makes us feel better about ourselves. (Even a big-studio "flop" is seen by hundreds of thousands of people, which is more famous than we will ever be.) So here are...

The Lowest-Grossing Wide Releases of 2010*

*For our purposes, wide release is at least 1,000 theaters. All grosses are U.S.-only and courtesy of Box Office Mojo.

Dishonorable mention: 'Letters to God' (Gross: $2.9 million. Widest release: 897 theaters.) This Christian-themed tearjerker, about a boy with cancer whose letters to God are intercepted by an alcoholic mailman, only played on 900 screens. But we wanted to mention it anyway, mainly because it's about a boy with cancer whose letters to God are intercepted by an alcoholic mailman.

10. 'Splice' (Gross: $17 million. Widest release: 2,450 theaters.) The divisive reviews didn't help. The icky premise probably turned a lot of people off, too. It turns out the audience for Adrien Brody and Sarah Polley creating genetic abominations is smaller than anyone realized.
Continue Reading

'Little Fockers' Review: An Obscene Act of Unspeakable Horror

By Eric D. Snider (Subscribe to Eric D. Snider's posts), Posted Dec 21st 2010 12:12PM
Filed under: Reviews, New Releases, Cinematical


'Little Fockers' would be a lot less painful to watch if its cast of victims didn't include so many beloved actors. Replace De Niro, Stiller, and Hoffman with a bunch of D-listers and it would still be terrible -- the screenplay is unsalvageable -- but at least then it wouldn't feel like a punch in the movie lover's gut.

Arriving six years to the day after 'Meet the Fockers,' this third film in the 'Meet the Parents' saga is one of the dullest, laziest, unfunniest comedies I've ever seen that didn't go straight to DVD and have the words "National Lampoon" attached to it. Most of the gags from the first two films are repeated, only now they're broadly telegraphed so that you'll never NOT see the joke coming before it arrives. Any character growth that occurred previously is forgotten so that we can revert back to the basics: De Niro doesn't trust Stiller, Stiller keeps accidentally messing things up, and Stiller's last name is Focker. (DO YOU GET IT???)

In addition, you may be interested to know that 'Little Fockers' includes many reminders that farts, vomit, and erections are funny. They are so funny, in fact, that you needn't write actual jokes around them. Just toss 'em up there on the screen! A kid barfing on someone is comedy gold, period.
Continue Reading

'Yogi Bear' Review: No Smarter Than the Average Sack of Doorknobs

By Eric D. Snider (Subscribe to Eric D. Snider's posts), Posted Dec 16th 2010 8:20PM
Filed under: Reviews, New Releases, Cinematical

Whenever they announce something like a Marmaduke movie, or a Smurfs movie, or a -- sure, why not? -- Yogi Bear movie, people's reaction is always the same: "Who wanted THAT?!" Well, I hate to break it to you, but we've reached the point where it doesn't matter if literally not one person on Earth wants to see a big-screen version of a fictional character. If someone in Hollywood owns the rights to that character, a movie will be made. That's just how it is.

So here, inevitably, is 'Yogi Bear,' which puts a computer-animated Yogi and Boo Boo in a live-action Jellystone Park and gives them the voices of Dan Aykroyd and Justin Timberlake. Turns out Aykroyd and Timberlake do really good impressions of these 50-year-old cartoon characters, which means there is one (and precisely one) aspect of the film worthy of praise.
Continue Reading

'The Tourist' Review: Jolie and Depp Don't Travel Well Together

By Eric D. Snider (Subscribe to Eric D. Snider's posts), Posted Dec 10th 2010 9:00AM
Filed under: Reviews, New Releases, Cinematical


Even if we accept that Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp are incredibly charismatic Tinseltown luminaries of the highest possible wattage, that doesn't guarantee they'll be any good together -- especially if you just throw them into something generic and assume they'll carry it by the sheer strength of their combined screen presence. That's arrogant, that's what that is. Maybe a little lazy, too. What, we're supposed to love something as pale, weak, and one-dimensional as 'The Tourist' just because it happens to feature two of the biggest movie stars in the world? No! We will not do this! We are better than that, movie.

German director Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck, whose debut feature, 'The Lives of Others,' won the Oscar a few years ago, took the reins on this big-time showbiz project after scheduling and other difficulties bumped some other directors (and actors) out of it. Let us not hold it against him. The Academy Award opened a lot of doors for the director, and who wouldn't jump at the chance to direct Depp and Jolie in a faux-Hitchcockian you've-got-the-wrong-guy European adventure, no matter how unremarkable the screenplay was? Turning down a job like that is for people who've already made a dozen Hollywood films, or people who are dead inside, neither of which describes Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck.

I urge you to say his name aloud. Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck. Did you do it? There, you just had more fun than you would if you watched 'The Tourist.'
Continue Reading

The Weekly Trailer Awards: Primates, Mechanics & Angst

By Eric D. Snider (Subscribe to Eric D. Snider's posts), Posted Dec 3rd 2010 2:50PM
Filed under: Trailers and Clips, Columns, Cinematical


The Weekly Trailer Awards is a column celebrating the finest achievements in trailerdom. It runs every Friday.

Best Idea for a Mission That Is Doomed for Failure: 'Source Code' (in theaters April 1). Jake Gyllenhaal plays a soldier who is somehow zapped into another man's consciousness during the last eight minutes of that man's life. That man's girlfriend is Michelle Monaghan. The soldier knows they only have eight minutes to live. He's supposed to find out who's responsible for killing them. But since he only has eight minutes, and since Michelle Monaghan is his girlfriend, he is clearly just going to have sex with Michelle Monaghan. The end.
Continue Reading

The Weekly Trailer Awards: Put on Your Lincoln Highness Lantern Battle Hood

By Eric D. Snider (Subscribe to Eric D. Snider's posts), Posted Nov 28th 2010 5:32PM
Filed under: Trailers and Clips, Columns, Cinematical


While America recovers from its gluttonous day of giving thanks and dozing off in front of football games, we labor intensively to shine a spotlight on the most outstanding achievements in movie advertising. Forthwith, the weekly trailer awards! (Note: Weekly trailer awards are also tasty as reheated leftovers.)

Most Flagrant Product Placement: 'The Lincoln Lawyer' (in theaters March 18). Matthew McConaughey's title character isn't the "Lincoln lawyer" because he's a gangly bearded giant with an unsightly mole and a fondness for emancipation. He's called that because he's a defense attorney who operates out of his car, which is a Lincoln. The trailer makes both the lawyer and the car appear snazzy and sleek, thus helping to distract the viewer from the fact that under no circumstances would you ever hire a lawyer who operated out of a car.
Continue Reading

'Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows' Review: Things Are Getting Dark

By Eric D. Snider (Subscribe to Eric D. Snider's posts), Posted Nov 17th 2010 9:15PM
Filed under: Reviews, New Releases, Cinematical

Was 'Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows' split into two movies so that the franchise could make more money? Well, yes. But maybe not just for that reason. As it turns out, 'Deathly Hallows: Part 1' is a quietly thrilling and artful chapter in the eight-part series. It doesn't stand on its own, exactly, any more than the first half of a TV two-parter would, but it isn't merely set-up, either. If you think of 'Half-Blood Prince' and the two 'Deathly Hallows' entries as a trilogy that concludes the Potter saga, 'Part 1' is a terrific middle.

You will recall the somber way we left things at the end of 'Half-Blood Prince.' Things aren't any cheerier now. The director, David Yates -- who will have made half of the eight films by the time it's over -- instantly revives the tension by starting on a tight close-up of Bill Nighy as Minister of Magic Rufus Scrimgeour, who is assuring his constituents that everything is fine, just fine. We know it isn't true. And look at Scrimgeour's eyes. Does he even believe it?

There's a palpable sense of gloom as Harry (Daniel Radcliffe) and Hermione (Emma Watson) leave their homes, not bound for Hogwarts, but headed to war against Voldemort (Ralph Fiennes). Assisted by the members of the Order of the Phoenix, Harry and Hermione converge on the Weasley home, where there is to be a wedding between Bill Weasley and Fleur Delacour. Everyone is aware that this may be the last festive moment for a long time.
Continue Reading
Advertisement

Hot Topics

From Our Partners