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'The Human Centipede' Scarred Me for Life -- But You Should See It Anyway

By Denise Warner (Subscribe to Denise Warner's posts), Posted Apr 27th 2010 10:00AM
Filed under: Hot Topic
The Human CentipedeIn 'The Human Centipede,' two beautiful American tourists take what starts as an amazing road trip through Europe in a cute car. These girls stay in nice hotels and meet cute European boys until one night ... when their car breaks down in the middle of nowhere. After a disturbing encounter with an old man, the ladies decide to get out of the car to search for help.

At this point, as I was watching the movie, I remembered something from when I was 15. In high school, a former bodyguard gave us a speech about safety and lessening your chances of being abducted. He told us in no uncertain terms that you're more of a target if you're sitting in a broken-down car than if you're roaming the woods. "There aren't any madmen who just happened to be out there waiting for someone to get a flat tire," he said.

In this case, he was wrong -- they should have stayed in the car. The madman in 'The Human Centipede' is Dr. Heiter, a famed surgeon who used to work separating Siamese twins, who now likes to combine people together. And when Lindsay and Jenny ask for help, they get trapped under truly horrific circumstances.

Thus begins what is the most emotionally damaging movie I've seen in a long time. But, if you're a horror fan, you should still brave the theater for it. You won't be disappointed. (Warning: Spoilers below. But I'm so not responsible for any therapy charges you may incur.)
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'The Cutting Edge' Marathon: Going for the Whole Eight Hours

By Denise Warner (Subscribe to Denise Warner's posts), Posted Mar 15th 2010 1:15PM
Filed under: Hot Topic
The Cutting EdgeThis past weekend, I gave up my Sunday -- and the pleasure of watching Kentucky win the SEC tournament and LeBron James dismantle the Celtics -- to watch eight consecutive hours of 'The Cutting Edge.'

Yes, you read that correctly. ABC Family aired all three 'Cutting Edge' films prior to the premiere of its latest made-for-TV movie, 'The Cutting Edge: Fire & Ice.'

I know, I know. You're jealous. But I did it all for you. I promise.

To prepare for this feat of pop-culture stamina, I downed two mimosas at brunch, and almost ordered a third. Then I settled back into my pajama shorts and a Disney T-shirt for the duration of Sunday.
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