Sorry, brah. Just when you recovered from the pain caused by the 'Dirty Dancing' reboot, Hollywood has once again raided your cache of Patrick Swayze nostalgia for another remake: 'Point Break.' Alcon Entertainment is set to bring the Kathryn Bigelow-directed cult hit into the 21st century, with extreme sports replacing the bodacious waves of So-Cal. (The less said about the proposed change, the better.) It hurts like falling off your surfboard, but let's plow forward together. Order up a meatball sandwich and check out some Moviefone-approved 'Point Break' casting suggestions ahead.
Ryan Gosling as Johnny Utah (originally played by Keanu Reeves)
The instinct here is probably to cast someone like Chris Pine, Ryan Reynolds or Paul Walker in the lead role made famous by Keanu Reeves and his righteous line delivery. That said, no film would suffer from more Gos. (Ryan Gosling, for those non-superfans.) He's probably too famous to lead 'Dirty Dancing' for Lionsgate despite his ability to "do the move," but with Warner Bros. planning to release 'Point Break' -- a studio he's worked with previously on 'Crazy, Stupid, Love.' and the upcoming 'Gangster Squad' -- the casting almost feels serendipitous. Plus, who wouldn't want to hear Gosling say, "I caught my first tube today... sir" to a stuffy authority figure?
Josh Holloway as Bodhi (originally played by Patrick Swayze)
He's not the A-lister that Patrick Swayze was at the time of the original 'Point Break,' but -- fame aside -- is there anyone more perfect to play Bodhi than former 'Lost' castaway Josh Holloway? No, rhetorical question, there is not! Holloway is gruff, masculine, comfortable with taking his shirt off and believably older than the young-buck Utah. This kinda seems like a no-brainer, which means it has zero chance of actually happening.
Adrianne Palicki as Tyler (originally played by Lori Petty)
Palicki, the 'Friday Night Lights' star and erstwhile Wonder Woman, is much more Amazonian than the tiny Ms. Petty, but she's a physical tomboy who isn't afraid of tangling with the opposite sex -- a trait surfer-girl Tyler possesses in excess. (Let's hope surfer girls are still present in this "extreme sports" version of 'Point Break.')
Nicolas Cage as Pappas (originally played by Gary Busey) Grizzled, over-the-top and mostly insane, the role of Pappas in 'Point Break' basically afforded Gary Busey the chance to play himself. Is Nicolas Cage the modern-day Busey? Does it really matter when he'd get to say a line like this? "Listen you snot-nose little sh-t, I was takin' shrapnel in Khe Sanh when you were crappin' in your hands and rubbin' it on your face."
Jason Patric as FBI Director Ben Harp (originally played by John C. McGinley) When you need a bureaucratic jerk in an authority position you call either Billy Crudup or Jason Patric. Simple. (Alternate: just cast John C. McGinley again.)
Chace Crawford, Alex Pettyfer and Paul Walker as the "Ex-Presidents" (originally played by James LeGros, John Philbin and Bojesse Christopher) Let's assume that Bodhi's bizarrely young-ish gang gets an expanded role in this update, and that their cooperation requires optional shirts. You could do worse than eye-candy like Crawford, Pettyfer and Walker. Come to think of it, why hasn't Steven Soderbergh cast Crawford and Walker in stripper drama 'Magic Mike'? Get on that exploitation, Steve!
For more on 'Point Break,' check out Moviefone's anniversary interview with star Gary Busey from earlier this year.
Photo: 20th Century Fox