Impaler, Directed by W. Tray White, 2007

Synopsis: This documentary follows Jonathan "The Impaler" Sharkey aka Rocky Flash, self-proclaimed sanguinary vampire, as he hits the campaign trail in 2006, hoping to become governor of Minnesota.

My Thoughts: This film captures a certain type of socially awkward redneck white trash goth that I've run into before, but is rarely shown on film. Sharkey's a deeply disturbed pathological liar and absentee father, as well as a hard-right conservative who can't hold a single conversation without telling you about his plans to impale Bin Laden on the White House lawn whenever he gets into office.

He's an interesting subject, but the documentary is sabotaged by Sharkey's own criminal history. Instead of getting to spend time with Sharkey, filmmaker White is forced to devote a large portion of the film on interviews with his former pro wrestling buddies and his ex-wife. She sheds some interesting light on Sharkey, painting him as a split personality transvestite, but, shockingly, the filmmakers don't follow up with questions for him. Instead, they sit around a trailer and down beers with the guy. Huh.

It's a short, messy doc about a fringe weirdo, but it's on Netflix streaming if you'd like to see it for yourself.

Recommended If You Like: American Movie, The Backyard, Twilight


The Return of the Fly, directed by Edward Bernds, 1959

Synopsis: Philipe Delambre, son of Andre Delambre, the telepod inventor who found himself accidentally fused with a fly, picks up his father's work, but soon finds himself caught in a web of industrial espionage.

My Thoughts: The Return of the Fly, while not bad, just doesn't resonate like its predecessor. It suffers from sequelitis -- too much been there, done that -- and compounding the matter is that it's working on an obviously lower budget than the original hit. There's one fairly absurd gross-out gag involving a lab rat, but everything else is by-the-numbers.

Again, that's not to say it's terrible; it's just that The Fly is really, really great. There's a love story at work in The Fly, but they ditch that here, and replace human drama with a villain character out to steal Delambre's experiment, making The Return of the Fly into more of a traditional sci-fi thriller.

Recommended If You Like: The Fly (obviously), 1950's science-gone-wrong flicks


Motel Hell, directed by Kevin Connor, 1980

Synopsis: Farmer Vincent's jerky is PEOPLE! IT'S PEOPLE!!!

My Thoughts: Motel Hell was legendary when I was in elementary school, spoken of as if it was one of the most horrifying films ever unleashed on human eyes. It took me thirty long years to work up the courage to finally see it (this is a lie -- I'd just never made time for it). Was it as shocking and as terrifying as grade school kids made it out to be?

No.

It's an occasionally amusing country-fried horror comedy, one that doesn't quite come hard enough with either the horror or the comedy (save for one absolutely killer line at the end of the movie). It also feels a little too long for its own good. I do think there's just enough good stuff in here that a remake might improve actually upon its ideas, so I'm down for that if it ever happens.

Still curious about its schoolyard rep? The reality is that this played on a Houston UHF channel all the time, meaning lots and lots of Houston-area kids got to see it every weekend, whether it was appropriate for kids or not (it isn't).

Recommended If You Like: Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, Spider Baby, Trailer Park of Terror, Eating Raoul