Since 2007 Florida has offered tax credits to filmmakers willing to shoot their movies in the state. This can be a hard sell, as you know if you've ever been to Florida. Just about anything is eligible for the credits, covering 15 percent of the film's production costs, but some movies are eligible for additional discounts, too. For example, the current law allows for "family friendly" movies to get another 2 percent of their budget covered by the state. A bill now being considered by the Florida legislature would increase this bonus to 5 percent, and would add "nontraditional family values" to the list of things that would disqualify a movie from being eligible. And as you know, "nontraditional family values" means "the gays."

The bill's sponsor, Rep. Stephen Precourt (R-Orlando), said he didn't want to target gays specifically, but when the Palm Beach Post asked him whether movies with gay characters could qualify as "family friendly," he said, "That would not be the kind of thing I'd say that we want to invest public dollars in." This from the guy who represents Orlando, home of Walt Disney World, i.e., the gayest place in the universe.

Waitasec. Precourt represents Orlando. Disney is in Orlando. Disney makes a lot of family-friendly movies. Disney could therefore get a lot of tax credits by shooting locally. This is an astonishing coincidence.

The current incentive program (you can read it here) defines "family-friendly productions" as "those that have cross-generational appeal; would be considered suitable for viewing by children age 5 and older; are appropriate in theme, content, and language for a broad family audience; embody a responsible resolution of issues; and do not exhibit any act of smoking, sex, nudity, or vulgar or profane language." The revised version -- which unanimously passed the House Economic Development Policy Committee last week and now goes to the House Finance and Tax Council -- changes "exhibit" to "exhibit or imply," and adds "nontraditional family values" and "gratuitous violence" as things that cannot be exhibited or implied. (How was "gratuitous violence" not already on the list?!)

"Nontraditional family values" is the problematic phrase, problematic because the bill doesn't define what it means. Precourt had trouble defining it, too, telling the Palm Beach Post, "Think of it as like Mayberry." (Yes, he meant the town in The Andy Griffith Show. And yes, he really said, out loud, that a fictional town from fifty years ago is his ideal for what movies should be like.) "That's when I grew up -- the '60s. That's what life was like. I want Florida to be known for making those kinds of movies: Disney movies for kids and all that stuff. Like it used to be, you know?"

Ah, yes, the good old days. If "life in Florida in the 1960s" is what he's going for, then "nontraditional family values" would also have to include interracial couples, as marriages between blacks and whites were illegal in Florida until 1967 (and only became legal then by order of the Supreme Court). Single-parent families are pretty "nontraditional" too, aren't they? I mean, the kind of single-parent family where the father or mother died tragically is one thing. But divorced? Or a woman who had a child on her own and never got married in the first place?? Forget about it.

It's important to note that these stipulations are for the additional tax credits. Even family-unfriendly productions can qualify for the basic incentives. That part won't change under the new bill.

The easiest solution would be to say a film is considered "family friendly" if it is rated G by the MPAA. But of course a lot of family movies are rated PG, and you can't just say any PG film qualifies, because some PG films have been known to make reference to the gays, and this would ruin Florida's image. So I don't know what they're going to do! I can think of a film that definitely wouldn't qualify for the additional tax incentive, though: a biopic of Florida governor Charlie Crist.