Last month, CHUD broke the news that Zombieland scribes Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick might just be lending their raunchy talents to Deadpool. It's now been confirmed by trades like Variety, so happy day, Deadpool might actually be snarky. It might actually be good. We can't get our hopes up, of course, but it's a nice start to the spin-off.

If you aspire to screenwriting, you have to envy Reese and Wernick a little. When it comes to comic adaptations you can't really get any easier than the Merc with a Mouth. You can pretty much go through his solo series and pull out a bunch of great lines, give him some mercenaries to slice up, and have a pretty enjoyable film on your hands.

But hey, we are talking about a studio that often gets very confused when it comes to their comic book characters. No one really thought they could mess up Wolverine, but they did. No one thought they could make the Dark Phoenix storyline absolutely useless, but they did. So, I thought I could help out Reese, Wernick and Fox by picking out five Deadpool ideas that they can just copy and paste into the movie. With butt jokes out of the way, Fox can rest and leave Reese and Wernick alone to craft a nice, tidy story that undoes the mess of X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Please feel free to contribute your own ideas, and help the creative process along.

Pop below the jump ....


1. Have him reference the man behind the mask

Deadpool is famous for breaking the fourth wall, and talking directly to the audience. He's aware that he's a comic book character, which makes all who play with him (Spider-Man, Wolverine, the X-Men) almost sad by comparison. Allegedly, the movie will also feature this self-awareness, but to be really cool, they better have Deadpool namedrop Ryan Reynolds as pictured above. And yes that panel is real, and it's from 2004. Deadpool knows all!

2. Have a cameo from Wolverine

They should fight. I don't care how or why, but it must happen. Deadpool should gleefully know who Wolverine is (and crack an amnesia bullet joke or two) but Wolverine must be humorless, grim, and completely ignorant as to ever having met Wade Wilson before. No wink-wink-nudge-nudge on his part at all, or the encounter won't be any fun. I'm sure Hugh Jackman can find some time in his schedule for a scene or two.



3. Use him to tie your cinematic universe together with gratutious references to Fox franchises!

If you're going to jam pack every X-Man into Wolverine, then you might as well go all the way and start tying the entire Fox Marvel universe together. Deadpool is the place to start. Have him know not only who the X-Men are, but also the Fantastic Four, Elektra, Daredevil, and Silver Surfer. If you're going to make so many prequels and sequels, you might as well go the Marvel Studios route and make them into a pleasing whole. (Even better, be kind to your competitors and allow him to mention the Hulk or Spider-Man once and awhile. No one said they had to be nice references, after all ....)



4. Allow him to send him a message through spilled intestines! Stick knives in his head!

After neutering Wolverine, they better let Deadpool cut loose with his blades, and they better have him suffer a lot of physical punishment. He is a character capable of extreme violence, and he does it with such glee that you never notice how many bodies have piled up. The beauty of this character is that the quips offset the wince factor, so you can actually have him making offscreen greeting cards out of intestines or onscreen knives through the head, but in a way that's fun for kids!

5. Show his butt!

I was going to say "Give him one moment of heart" but that might tempt Fox to make him as weepy as Wolverine was. So, show his ass. I'm not saying that because it's Mr. Reynolds (although you'll probably sell a lot of tickets that way), but because Deadpool is the kind of creep who will put on a superheroine costume and prance around. That's who he is. I don't care how you get him into a skirt, but do it, and have him save the bikini briefs for the end of the film when he runs out of clean laundry. (Yes, he did that.)