"C'mon, get out of your seats! Are you ready?" The fans, who are all most certainly of drinking age, are definitely out of their seats and screaming. They're so ready!
"Too bad!" cackles the emcee, and the curtains part to show a young comedian named Skyler Stone who's there to stage an intervention, via FunnyorDie.
"Ladies and gentlemen, you are not going to see Twilight: New Moon tonight." For some reason (I think it has to do with alcohol), the audience is still cheering, but this statement brings a solitary "NO!" Stone continues, "This is a vampire intervention because you clearly don't know what the f*ck a vampire is!" Is that male laughter in the background? Wooing begins. Is this real or is it fake? Stone berates the audience and insults Rpatz with aplomb. Still, the cheering continues!
"Why are you cheering?!" he yells at them. "Do you understand you're not seeing Twilight tonight?"
Will there be a riot? Bloodshed? Will Stone leave the theater intact? Find out what happens after the jump.