This year, for the first time, the London Film Festival hosted a dedicated awards ceremony. In honour of that I have created my own round up of the festival, in the guise of awards! If you'd like to know the real ones follow this link to day 16 highlights: London Film Festival: Day 16 - Inside Movies

What's that? You don't care about their awards? It's all a sham? You want to know the REAL (for legal reasons I should say 'not real') winners? Here they are: This year, for the first time, the London Film Festival hosted a dedicated awards ceremony. In honour of that I have created my own round up of the festival, in the guise of awards! If you'd like to know the real ones follow this link to day 16 highlights: London Film Festival: Day 16 - Inside Movies

What's that? You don't care about their awards? It's all a sham? You want to know the REAL (for legal reasons I should say 'not real') winners? Here they are:


First up the Best Dressed on the Red Carpet award goes to the cast of A Single Man. With director Tom Ford having so much experience in the fashion industry it's hardly surprising. Just look how stylish they are (and serious, bless 'em). The film is also a design dream with some suave screen-acting to boot.
London Film Festival: Day 4 - Inside Movies


Leading nicely on from clothing - the Fig Leaf Award for Best Gratuitous Nudity. I was tempted to honour Julianne Moore for disrobing with Amanda Seyfried for some girl on girl in Chloe, especially as she still looks so good for her 48 years of age. However, the theatre troupe in Taking Woodstock unselfconsciously threw off their fabric shackles in every other scene, lending a joyous freedom to the burgeoning sexuality of 60s liberalism - hazah!
London Film Festival: Day 14 - Inside Movies


Next is the Worst Documentary I Felt Obliged to Watch award. As I left the familiarity of Leicester Square and wandered out to the dark and dangerous environs of...Covent Garden, I found myself trapped in a little screening room being told by director/screenwriter Ken McMullen that he had finished cutting An Organisation of Dreams at 2:30am that morning. 'Well that's a good sign,' I thought. But by then it was too late. I was already being subjected to nonsensical French philosophising from Derrida and Stiegler, mixed with a sort of noir detective narrative and quotes from Shakespeare. Apparently it was an investigation into the institution of cinema as a political tool. I just thought they were all high.


Moving on to a more positive moral message, the award for Best 'War is Bad' Film goes to Balibo, which escaped my reviewing prowess in earlier days - so here it is now.

Inspired by Jill Joliffe's book Cover-Up, this film follows the 'true story' of Roger East (Anthony LaPaglia) an experienced war journalist, who reluctantly travels to East Timor to uncover the truth behind the diasappearance of five Australian journalists. He is drawn into a conflict between the Timorese and invading Indonesian forces by their Secretary of Foreign Affairs, in the hope that he will expose the atrocities to the
United Nations. Oscar Isaac gives a stunning performance as Jose Ramos-Horta, the passionate young governmental figure, who would go on to win the Nobel Peace Prize. It's a strangely uplifting experience to watch this, at times gratuitous film, because it seems as though things will work out in the end. As long as stories are told, then the past will heal. It also cleverly allows the viewer to doubt the honourable intentions of the missing journalists, suggesting inter-channel competition and pride played their parts.

Special mention also to Mugabe and the White African, for also pointing out that 'War is Bad' (It's good. The documentary, not war, as I've said.)


The Best Red Carpet Moment goes to Bunny and the Bull, where Noel Fielding was accompanied by some fish people. That's it.

The Best Reason to Make a Film award goes to Stephen Poliakoff for his pre WW2 thriller Glorius 39. He said: "It was an untold story, and I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for brave people like Romola's [Garai] character." Follow the link to find out why that is:London Film Festival: Day 13 - Inside Movies

Special mention to Underground, one of the BFI's restoration projects which is also very deserving.London FIlm Festival: Day 11 - Inside Movies


The Pie and Mash Award for Cliched Portrayal of a London Gangster goes to Ray Winstone in 44" Chest. Yes, he's got a strong London accent, he beats his woman, he's a bit mental and dribbles when he gets emotional. Special mention to The Disappearance of Alice Creed, for repeating the 'gay psychopath' trick, unfortunately it was a lot more entertaining than the former mess, so misses out on this award.
London Film Festival: Day 5 - Inside Movies




Now it's a return to negatives with the Worst Casting Award. Actually I'm cheating here, because it goes to Brad Pitt as Boris Johnson! At the mayor's Gala screening of Bright Star (London Film Festival: Day 7 - Inside Movies) he was asked who he would like to play him in a biopic. He replied "um, that fellow, Brad Pitt. Or if not him then Clooney." As if Clooney isn't busy enough in this festival!


Personally I think he should be portrayed by a British actor - let's see...blond, toff, public school...I know...


Speaking of Clooney in everything, he is the recipient of this year's Omnipresent Award. With three features in this year's festival he had his work cut out for him. But even with relentless press conferences and red carpet appearances he kept up his chirpy exterior, while deftly avoiding questions about his personal life. Well done Fantastic Mr George! Here's the links to all his movies:

Fantastic Mr Fox - The London Film Festival - Opening Night! - Inside Movies
The Men Who Stare At Goats - London Film Festival: Day 2 - Inside Movies
Up in the Air - London Film Festival: Day 6 - Inside Movies

That's it for 2009, hope you've enjoyed it and see you next year!