What's worse: delusions of grandeur or delusions of adequacy? In an e-mail release designed to make you ponder that very question, shared by the horror and exploitation mavens at Bloody Disgusting, Uwe Boll (the videogame-adapting, one-man mediocrity machine who's never met a stunt he didn't love) has announced that his latest opus, Postal (reviewed here by our own Scott Weinberg) will be opening May 23rd. That puts it head-to-head with Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Bloody Disgusting reprinted excerpts from Boll's e-mail, which are as incoherent as they are enthusiastic. Boll first offers that "On the Indiana Jones weekend -- May 23 -- we will go out and destroy Indiana Jones in the Box Office! We all know that Harrison Ford is older as my grandpa and his time is up."

Boll then offers a trenchant critique of Spielberg's recent efforts: "Spielberg gets sloppy. We saw that with War of the Worlds (why the f**k the older brother survived?) and also in parts of Jaws, E.T., Munich etc.! My performance in Postal as 'Nazi Theme Park Owner' outperforms easily Ben Kingsley in Schindler's List!" Finally: A writer-director-showman we can come together around ... and hate even more than Troma's Lloyd Kaufman. There's not a snowball's chance Postal will beat Crystal Skull, of course ... but is there even a dim chance that his counter-programming strategy will draw hipster audiences eager to avoid Indy's lines of doom?