Lame because: By now, everyone in the world (and the galaxy, for that matter) knows exactly who didn't land a role in the upcoming Star Trek XI: Poor William Shatner. And the reason why we all know this is because the guy wouldn't shut up about it in 2007. It could've been a story about the man's all-time favorite Disney characters, and he still would've found a way to complain about not being asked to participate in the new Star Trek film. Something tells me J.J. Abrams is not Facebook friends with William Shatner.

How to turn it around: Just shut up, sell another kidney stone and come to terms with the fact that no one really cares about seeing your bloated mug back up on the big screen in some Star Trek sort of way. Those rosy cheeks might garner a smile during a Priceline commercial, but they don't belong on the Enterprise. At least, not anymore.
Next up: Ugh ... format this!