Look, I love Sean Connery's Papa Jones character just as much as the next guy, but to create a website and ask people to sign a petition in an attempt to convince the man to make a cameo -- I'd say that's a tad much. But it's also exactly what a group (maybe not a group; maybe a few or a couple) of people have done, and if you head on over to the newly created BringBackConnery.com, then you can support their cause by signing on the virtual dotted line. When enough names are gathered, the folks in charge will then forward this petition along to "the studio" and maybe -- just maybe -- Sir Connery will say, "Ya know, f*ck it -- bring me a horse!"
And then I woke up and realized I was in the middle of some high school-set comedy from 1987. It was late in the second act; our main characters were trying to come up with a way to save their favorite (insert memorable spot) from being turned into a parking lot/strip mall, and from out of the back shouts a voice -- a familiar voice -- is it Johhny? It is Johnny! He's back! He really does believe in us! But he's not alone -- oh no, he has an idea. "Let's start a petition, gang!" he yells. "We'll show them just how much Sam's Swell Shake Shack really means to this community." And so they start their petition. And they gather their names. And then someone like me comes along with sarcasm and a reality check. Not gonna happen. But I like the spirit and enthusiasm. It's cute. And you never know ... maybe he'll do it. Then again, I'm convinced his whole strategically-placed "I'm not participating" statement was a lie in the first place -- so what do I know.