If you're not the kind of person who enjoys cheesy horror-comedy, mixed with over-the-top gore, campy dialogue, alien-on-human sexual encounters and a slew of British accents, then Evil Aliens is not the film for you. However, you horror buffs and gore geeks should have a blast with this flick, dissecting each splat of blood as director Jake West pays homage to a number of classic scary movies, including (but not limited to) Jaws, Predator, Night of the Living Dead and -- wait for it -- Disney's Flight of the Navigator.

The film's opening shot places us high above a young couple having sex in the middle of an open field. What they fail to realize (and will soon find out) is that they're not alone. Dun. Dun. Dun. When a disagreement between lovers finds the woman running off towards a pitch-black night, danger soon finds her and snatches the poor girl up, leaving the man alone, vulnerable and ultimately screwed (in more ways than one). Suddenly, we're onboard a spacecraft where the not-so-happy couple are separated, strapped down on top of metal tables and face-to-face with horrific creatures hell-bent on jamming a long shiny drill up where the sun never shines. As blood splatters everywhere and screams of mercy go unheard, we're introduced to the title of this crazy little flick: Evil Aliens.

While the film itself is wacky, disgusting and well beyond absurd, its set-up and main characters are really a treat to watch, regardless of how big a fan of the genre you are. Basically, TV personality Michelle Fox (Emily Booth) is having trouble coming up with fresh stories for Weird World, a show that focuses mainly on alien abductions. Upon hearing news that there's a girl who claims to have been kidnapped and impregnated by aliens, Fox's boss instructs her to assemble a crew and head out towards a remote island off the coast of Wales for an interview and to shoot re-enactments, a la Unsolved Mysteries.

Joining Fox (whose big boobs and sexy persona are enough to keep your eyes glued to the screen) on her quest are a unique group of fairly well-written misfits: On the video production end, we have a hunky cameraman and his bumbling boom operator, who both seem to specialize in goth-inspired music videos. For the re-enactments, Fox enlists a gay stage-actor and her boss's stripper girlfriend to play an alien and the female victim. Last, but certainly not least is, in my opinion, the pic's most lovable character: A computer geek obsessed with all things alien who, when he's not writing letters to Weird World providing the show with tips and suggestions, is popping nasty-looking pimples on his face.

Stuffed into one of those rickety vans, the group heads out towards the island which, interestingly enough, can only be accessed at certain times throughout the day because of high tides that pop up and surround the entire thing. Thus, no matter what they discover, there's a good chance no one is leaving this island anytime soon. Upon arrival, they head for a dilapidated farmhouse which serves as homebase for this so-called alien abductee and her three tough-as-nails inbred brothers. The story (if you can call it that) takes a while to get going, though once it does, West bombards us with low-budget action sequences. From an alien vs. human show-down in liquefied manure to a not-so-healthy assortment of vomit, ejaculation, blood and guts, our characters continuously find themselves either swimming in or spitting out literally every bodily fluid imaginable.

Shot on hi-def video with a budget of only $2 million, the evil aliens here are nothing more than actors dressed in poorly made jumpsuits, fitted with masks that prove to show what the movie Predator would look like if it were a dingy high school production. Therefore, the only inter-galactic acrobatics we get are a brisk walk or, if we're lucky, a short sprint; I suppose zombie aliens would be the best way to describe them. However, the real fun comes in the various ways West asks his characters to battle said aliens. In one of the more enjoyable scenes, our hunky cameraman uses a plow to mow down a group of enemies in a field, while we watch them get sucked up and spit out the back -- all set to high-tempo music with some groovy computer-generated effects thrown in. Other weapons include a bow and arrow, a shotgun, a cross and a boom mic. Yes, a boom mic.

While West's comedic tone is clearly apparent throughout, with the exception of one or two scenes, the film is neither funny nor scary. If you're looking for another Shaun of the Dead, there's no way you're finding it here -- both films are in completely different leagues. It seems as if West goes out of his way to make each one of his characters unlikeable -- perhaps because it's easier to kill them off. If you connect with the computer geek early on, chances are a half-hour later you won't care for him anymore. Whatever disorganized premise and character development there was at the beginning seems to fall apart rather quickly, leaving the viewer with only their love for guts and gore to hold onto.

Now, I'm not saying West didn't succeed in what he set out to accomplish -- Evil Aliens doesn't make any promises, refuses to lose itself in useless sub-plots and never reserves a spot on the intelligence scale. Yet, if you enter this moviegoing experience without prior knowledge of the genre and its intentions, then you could soon find yourself confused, nauseous and searching for the nearest exit. In my opinion, Evil Aliens is best consumed late at night in a lively environment, surrounded by a number of rowdy horror buffs. And, unless your significant other is down for some wicked gore, I'd leave this flick off the date-night list.