I'll just say it like I'm tearing off a bandage:

They'reremakingTheBirds.

Whew. Wait, put down your pitchforks for a second. Here's the scoop:

You know those gore-happy Platinum Dunes dudes? The ones who gave you The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and The Amityville Horror? And this October's Massacre prequel? And next year's Hitcher remake? Yeah, those guys. They're making a movie called The Birds.

But producer Brad Fuller is making one thing abundantly, thoroughly, and in all ways crystal clear: They'll be working from the original Daphne Du Maurier short story and NOT from the dazzlingly cool Alfred Hitchcock film. The thousands of tickets they'll inevitably sell thanks to the "non-connection" to the Hitchcock flick is, of course, just good fortune.

Mr. Fuller also announced that his Birds screenwriters have been chosen: the two knuckleheads who wrote freakin' Boogeyman.