Ah, leave it to those plucky contrarians at The Onion, as their crack film team presents a flurry of classic films -- along with arguments about why their glories may hang about them like giant's robes upon a dwarvish thief. There are a few surprises in the listings (A Clockwork Orange? Really?), but by and large it's a lively piece with plenty of well-done reasoning and snappy subjectivism. Star Wars? "Remove Harrison Ford's swaggering charisma from Star Wars, and what's left? The Phantom fucking Menace." Network? " ... does predicting that network television and its audience will grow increasingly degraded and desperate qualify as Nostradamus-like prescience, or mere common sense?" The Big Lebowski? "Compared with the Coens' usual energy and the tautness of their best work, Lebowski feels unfocused, uncommitted, and amateurish." The Shawshank Redemption? "In the hands of director Frank Darabont, the brutality of prison life looks faintly like nostalgia." Like I said, whether you agree or disagree, this is great stuff ... and this, ot course, begs the question of if there are any so-called "Classics" you just can't get through. ...